I just realized how truly painful it has been to love you. The risk
has definitely not out weighed the reward this time. I keep trying to
channel all the pain out now to assist with the purge. But it seems to
be displaced because I have been experiencing it off and on for the
last 6 months since our inception. I guess that's why my ailed mind
clung to you. Because pain has become synonymous with love in my
thought process. How unfortunate that it took me almost 35 years to
realize that I was this screwed up mentally. But My God is sooooooooo
good b/c many never think to change their own mindset. And they let it
remain their norm. I refuse to be that person, and that will be my
motivation to get through these days. I will continue to focus on
embracing that someone can make me feel the same way you made me feel,
but be willing to give their heart in return. And they would never
accept me being hurt in the process. And that is not only highly
likely but also well deserved. Why would I accept less?
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