The Sign

I prayed for a sign. Because I need to let go of you. I need to not
run from a man in the club that palms the small of my back the way you
do. I need to allow the other contenders a real opportunity to vy for
my affection. I need to not be consumed with you within this
controlled environment that I have devised between us. I want you
still. I can't lie and say that when I cut you off, I never thought
this much time would pass before you came to claim me. I just knew
that proper intentions would be stated and I would have a reason to be
pulled back in. I didn't think it would take you this long to realize
you couldn't live without me. I thought surely, that we would be
falling madly in love by now. But the sign I asked for has probably
come and gone. Because I don't want to admit that we won't be all that
we should be. In my mind i can't release all that we could be. I keep
making random chances to see you, because I know you will pull me
close to you as if you had been waiting for me. And I feel compelled
to make inferences from comments and gestures. I even feel inclined to
accidently on purpose eavesdrop on your phone conversation in search
of hints of my replacement. This is no life. But I just can't seem to
give up the ghost.

I never had to lig without severing all ties and cordiality. This ish
is much harder than I ever anticipated. I feel a little weaker for
being this women. I can see where emotions have gotten the best of my
usually logical mind. Which is so unlike me. Yet I can even make you
sound good on paper. In fact, I convince my star player of your merits
on a daily. I don't want to lose out b/c I couldn't stick it out. But
I can't confirm that my wait is not in total vain. Please Lord, send
me a sign.

Sent from my iPhone