Torn

You called because I haven't been calling you. And you feel the need to tell me you miss me, only because you suspect someone else is taking up the time that I used to infuse with you on any given opportunity. Why is it that my stock goes up when I try to move on? Even worse, he isn't you. So, while he is a good guy and attentive to me, you still have my heart. And I realize that at any given moment, if you decided you wanted me, I would hurt his feelings instantly and run to you. I know we could be together and he would treat me well and be proud to have me. But when I run to you, you will lose interest again and you won't be willing to give me what I need. So why is my heart torn. And why do I wish he was you. Why do I crave your kisses and your touch, when he would love to provide me those things? You are 'A' Soul mate. Notice, I no longer think there is only one. And I know we could have a beautiful life together. But because of your past, this has become so difficult. Now I am more confused than I should be based on our history. But my heart is unwilling to let go, though my brilliant mind quit you some time ago. Which means I am torn within myself, struggling between my heart and mind with neither being a clear victor in the arena of my soul. My heart believes that you are all that I want and need and we will live together in perfect harmony. But my mind only sees the pain you've caused and the sacrifices you aren't willing to make on my behalf. The truth resides somewhere in the midst of the two. And for now, I remain torn.