Feeling some kind of way

In general, it is safe to say that I am a pretty upbeat person. I have on more than one occasion received nicknames that included 'optimistic' as an adjective in front of it. So suffice it to say, that I rarely ever feel sad or down for very long. But today, I am feeling some kind of way. And I think it may be the prospect of the holidays as a single person. I won't be alone on the holiday. In fact, 90% of the time I have my two princes in tow, so I'm rarely ever actually alone. But it has been over 10 years since I was actually single during the holiday season. And I'm not quite sure what the protocol is for this. Now, I'm not complaining, b/c last Thanksgiving, I was wondering if I was going to receive a holiday smack or worse from the artist formerly known as my husband. I think the tinge of sadness that I feel is based on the knowledge that in spades terminology, I don't even have a strong possible. Which I have to say is of some concern. A - because I am not voluntarily practicing celibacy and a girl has needs. B - not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty fly as women go. And I mean that in a holistic sense. I'm talking total package (cute, fine, smart, funny, spiritual, financially independent, etc.) And I feel like I'm doing my part. I'm doing everything 'they' say you should do in life. But I am not meeting men that can say the same. And since my awakening, I have come to the understanding that I deserve reciprocity. I am trying to remain positive. It just gets a little heavy sometimes. I guess that's what I'm feeling right now. HO HUM!!!!!!