Contemplation

I went to bed with this on my mind and woke up with the same. I
continue to ponder this question in my mind 'Is a piece of you better
than nothing at all. In the scheme of things, this seems overly
dramatic. We are both single which means we are free to see whomever
we like. So while I am kissing (or better yet, not kissing frogs) is
it reasonable for me to keep you on deck for the intimacy that you
would provide? It seems like a no brainer. But the problem lies in
this fact. I am still in love with you. Which begs another question
'Can I limit my relationship with you to just the moments we share no
matter how few and far between those moments may be. The truth, I have
no effin' idea. Track record says probably not. But I didn't know what
I know now before. And when I think of the time we have spent, I feel
about ready to sign on for more. But with that, I go back on my word
and will you view me as just another with no resolve with whom you can
have your way with. You don't deserve my pie, yet I can't imagine
giving anyone else a slice. I can't expect your actions to be
different, so I would have to accept that I would be one of as opposed
to 'the one' and that can wear on the self esteem. But the alternative
appears much worse to me which is to not feel your touch at all, nor
have you say just the right combination of dirty words while you do
what only you can do, nor have you hold me with one hand and play in
my fro with the other. There are a number of things that I just don't
want to live without, but I also care not to be your fool. So I lie
here contemplating how I can make my next move my best move .........