I take that back

While I was supposed to be studying and actually was watching a marathon of The Game I realized my last post was way harsh Ty. People get married for selfish reasons all the time. And no, if they jumped off a bridge I wouldn't do that too. But I'm saying that although I may have married for the wrong reasons, that does not lessen that I was committed to the marriage and did EVERYTHING possible to make it work. Hell, the reason why I left would not have been lessened if I married for Love. The sadness of it all is that I probably would have accepted him hitting me and controlling me a little longer if I was "IN" Love with him. But that just speaks to the low self-esteem that I inherited from the images of marriage/love that I grew up with.

Today, I am shifting my paradigm, because the truth is if he had done right by me, I would have been "IN" Love with him. If he had been "In" Love with me, he never could have raised his hand to me. His word would have meant something and he would have done everything possible to prove he was the man that I once believed he was. So forget everything I said about ruining lives. That was soooo not cool, because its blaming myself. Of course I have some fault to take. But its not all my fault. Its not even mostly my fault. I take the blame for making a bad choice and letting my pride prevent me from admitting it for far too long. But the rest, is on him. The previous post was that of a battered women drinking the kool-aid and believing I brought it on myself. Bye Farah Fawcett and take your damn burning bed with you!!!