The real me

These last few months/weeks/days have been life altering in more ways than I have time to detail here. In fact, there may be a character limitation that would prevent all those words. Suffice it to say, I am a different me, if that makes sense. But not a fake me, but the core me that had been hidden behind fear and ignorance. I have come to terms with so many things about myself, some painful and many enligtening moments. I literally am a totally different person internally. I look at people in a different non-judgemental way, because I know I was not long ago where they are. I finally know what it means to love myself. Imagine it taking me 35 years to learn to love myself. Well better late than never..... Thank the Lord for not so small miracles.

A call from....

Hello is this ****? Yes it is. I'm not trying to call to harass you, but I'm dealing with ***** and I saw your number in his phone........

That was how my work day begin when I decided to take a chance and answer a 'BLOCKED' call (which I never do) on my cell. But I thought perhaps it was work related since I was off-site today. Surprise, surprise.......

Funny thing is, this isn't even the person that you said you were seeing. This is a whole other person and she had a list of names besides. Everything makes so much sense now. And I move on with a clear heart, knowing that you could never love me because you don't even love yourself. I can't deny that I Love you. But the beauty of it all is that now I Love me more. So my self-esteem is winning over my concern for your acceptance. And for that I thank God. Because He let me see that it wasn't me. It was you. Apparently you have a pattern and this caller is experiencing the same thing I did a few months ago. I pray her strength too, knowing that all the things you told her were a replay to my ears. I told her I hope getting caught makes him straighten up, but deep down I know you won't change. You will only swap playmates until they tire of your games. In the words of Tony,Toni,Tone "I don't wish you no bad luck baby, I don't wish you no pain". I don't have to question myself a moment longer and I won't for another moment long for something that was ill-fated from the onset. The closure I so desperately needed finally came today. Muah!!!

P.S. Be careful because Karma is a BIATCH!!!!!!